EARLY MARRIAGE: (MUSLIMS) WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE

tumblr_mfn4pylXJe1rd9ukro1_500Some brothers and sisters are asking from some of my posts and via inbox why I was saying early marriage is compulsory or as someone insinuated “making it look as if it is compulsory”. Let me clarify that I and no other person have the right to declare as compulsory what Allaah in is His Able Might did not declare as compulsory, just like no one has the right to declare as impermissible what Allaah in His able Might has not declared as impermissible even if the person makes it impermissible by force or by coercion. Also, the fact that my daughter may not be married before 18 will not stop me from defending what Allah has not made impermissible.

If you don’t want your daughters married before 18, there are those who want their daughters married by 14. If you feel your 17 year old daughter is not physically, psychologically or intellectually mature for marriage, there are some 15 year olds who are more physically endowed than some 20 year olds and more reasonable than some 25 year olds. If your fear is VVF, someone will rather endure that than have his daughter fornicate. If you consider it an abomination to have sex with a teenager, someone consider it normal, and will do it with them legally or illegally. That is why 15 year old unmarried “babies” bring home babies or flush babies in toilets before mummy and daddy find out. If some teenagers don’t have sexual urge at 18, some do at 13, and without being forced will give themselves up for “play play” in the neighborhoods, in the boy’s quarters, in schools, motor parks, dark corners etc. The point is, you are dealing with a set of dynamic beings called “Humans” who have the right to choose from a range of permissible options as dictated by a Higher Being they believe is the Controller and Dictator of their affairs.

It may not make sense to those who don’t believe God has a right to dictate their lives or affairs. That should not be surprising and should even be expected. By the way they say it an age of “freedom” and “liberation” and not era of “archaic” and “backdated” laws. It only becomes worrisome when a Muslims holds similar belief or utter statements that reflect similar beliefs. The fact that the state doesn’t rule with the Divine law does not mean we should not apply the law in our lives. Some of us think it is only when the law is implemented that we can begin to live our lives as Muslims. The law should guide our day to day affair; our relationships, parenting, occupation, business transaction, dressing, sleeping and waking, eating and relieving oneself etc.

Allah says:

It is not fitting for a male believer and female believer to have an option in their affair other than what has been decided by Allah and His Messenger. Whoever disobeys Allah and his messenger has indeed strayed to a wrong path (Quran 933.36).

This Ayah is general in meaning and applies to all matters, i.e., if Allah and His Messenger decreed a matter, no one has the right to go against that, and no one has any choice or room for personal opinion in this case.(Tafsir Ibn kathir)

Sheikh bin Baaz explaining the fourth invalidator of islam said

“To believe that the prophets guidance is not complete or perfect or that other people ruling and judgment is better than his. Those who prefer the rule of false gods are blatant disbelievers. These include those who believe than manmade laws are better than Islamic law, that the Islamic law is not suitable for be implemented in the present day century, that Islam is the reason behind people backwardness in some sphere of life , or that it is not applicable in other sphere of life apart from regulating one’s life with one’s Lord. This point also includes those who think that cutting the hand of the thief is a backward law that should not be implemented in the present day society. It also include those who believe that it is permissible to dispense with the Islamic law in matters relating to the social life and the boundary limit for the lawful and unlawful even if they do not believe that other laws are better than Islamic laws. For this means they have made lawful what Allah has already made unlawful. Whoever makes lawful what Allah makes unlawful, things that are known in religion by necessity such as adultery, drinking alcohol, usury, and ruling with other than Allah’s law is a disbeliever with the unanimous agreement of all Muslim scholars”

(Page 57 and 61 of the English version of “The authentic creed and the invalidators of Islam” by sheikh Abdul-Aziz bin Abdullahi bin Baz)

We need to go back and learn Islam if we want to be true muslims. We need to go back to the floor mats of our madarasas. Reading books, listening to audio and video lectures of scholars help but is can never replace sitting with them and seeking to clarify issue that are not clear. If we cannot go and sit with them, lets always have a way of contacting them to clear our confusion and limited knowdge. Let us also give priority to the knowledge of Tauheed.

We should be careful with what we read, who we listen to and which scholar we take knowledge from. Not anyone that blows Arabic or has oratory and lexical skill transforms into a scholar overnight, neither is it in the ability to easily make deduction form so called common sense especially when common sense clashes with what is clear and unambiguous or clashes with the unanimous agreement of those who are upon the path of those the prophet commanded us to hold on to; those he endorsed as his rightly guided successor.

For someone to wake up da tsakar rana and start refuting Bukhari means we may sooner or later find ourselves rejecting many tenets of Islam. We find ourselves casting aspersion on other authentic hadith as well. Where will that leave us? It means anyone can declare to us that he has been able to deduce from his common sense that we should no longer pray five times a day, or we can marry our siblings because the hadith was narrated from someone who migrated and reported from sham or because some “assumed” dates quoted in some history book doesnt seem to fit with authentic narrations forgetting that different historian deduce different date and chronology of events especially when those dates are not mentioned in any reliable hadith. Also rejecting a hadith because it is a khabar Ahad,that is narrated by a single person means rejecting other Khabar ahad hadith that mentions the superiority of nabiyullah Muhammad (salallahu alaihi wa salam) over all the anbiyaa, his intercession on yawmal qiyamah, all his miracles excluding the Quran e.g water springing through his fingers, the compression of the grave on the dead, descending of Nabiyullah Isa alayhi salam Al Mahdee, emergence of the dajjal, appearance of the fire, rising of the sun from the west, the beast that will speak to mankind at the end of time. e.t.c

Sugar coating this deen will not stop the fault finders from mocking or casting aspersion upon Allaah, His messenger, His law and the Muslim. You will be bombarded with concept, values, ideologies that produce in you a feeling of inferiority complex to the extent that may seek to twist Islam in order to make it palatable to taste of your tormentors. You will hear all sorts of derogatory and insultive labels; backward, archaic, backdated, ancient, repressed, subjugated, restricted, and unprogressive. This mockery did not start today and is not about to stop. Expect more and learn to endure it. The prophet had said “A time will come when holding on to the deen will be like holding on to a burning coal”

Well the crux of the matter is where our problem lies. Let me say as a have always said, our problems are as a result of our relegating Islam to the background and adopting the jahilliya way as our modus operandi. My sister Zainab Magaji once mentioned that ‘All the Islam we practice these days ends on our lips. Our actions have nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with tradition”. All the fitna off marital abuse and parental neglect, forced marriage, girl child hawking, illiteracy, ignorance, laziness, begging, unjust killing are by product of our straying from what we have been commanded.

Allaah says:

“And let those who oppose the Messenger’s commandment, beware, lest some Fitnah should befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them (Quran 24:63)

If you think the problem we all get educated or become economically empowered, it may only take a different dimension as long as the Divine command is not the manual we follow even if we build schools in every nook and cranny and get everyone employed. Or don’t they rich and educated get divorce, separation, marital abuse and neglect? Isn’t it an act of neglect when a wife is left to toil and cater for feeding, clothing, bills and fees while acting her role as a wife and mother at the same time? Aren’t the children of the educated upper and middle class engaged in delinquency, drug use and abuse, debauchery of nudity, pornography and homosexuality in the universities? Even the braggarts whose past time is condescension and trying to forcefully pluck the specks off the eyes of others, have battalion of specks yet to pluck off their eyes; specks of child prostitutes, baby making industries, gang of ritual killers, armed robbers and cultist, original pedophiles, men of “God” that defile young boys and girls…Or isn’t a social menace a social menace?

Lets go back to Islam. A father who knows what to look out for in a potential husband will not give out his daughter just because she has attained puberty or just because a white collar job degree holder has come proposing. A father who makes it a habit to occasional check on his married son or daughter, to enquire of their well being, give them nasiha, extort them to righteousness and patience (not for him to poke nose, flame up dispute or call for gang up against his inlaw) as the prophet and Ibrahim AS did, will have a man thinking twice before he mistreats his daughter. Aisha the umm al mu”minin said ‘I did not see anyone who resembled the messenger of Allah in manners and speech like Fatima. When she comes to him, he stands up for her, welcomes her and had her sit in his place. When the prophet comes to her, she stands up for him, takes his hand, welcomes him and makes him sit in her place. She came to him during his final illness and he greeted her and kissed her (Al-adab al-mufrad 971). Now who will dare touch your daughter if he witness such display affection by a father.

The prophet was the kindness of husbands and use to “say the best among you is he who is kind to his women”. He exempted some of his sahabas from duties if any of their wives was sick or needs to travel. Uthman was exempted from duty to attain to his sick wife. Ali nursed his wife Fatima for months until she died. A man who tries to emulate this people will not abandon his wife because she has had VVF even if he cannot afford money for her treatment.

Defending the permissibility of early marriage is not the same as championing illiteracy, ignorance and poverty. Islam does not prohibit acquisition of knowledge and education, becoming enlightened or economically empowered for men and women, married or unmarried. It is in the interest of the ummah to have physically, psychologically and emotionally fit Muslim wives and mothers pregnancy related disease. It is in interest of the Muslim community to have educational and employment institution strictly for women to be trained in professional careers and vocation skill that befit their natures especially in areas where the society needs them. That does not mean they can’t have that while married or they should be forced to accept that or their spouses maligned for rejecting it or blaming their rejection solely on early marriage. That does not also mean they will escape what has been decreed for them even if they are super wealthy and super intelligent.

There are women who have not gone to school but are enlightened and not living in poverty. There are girls who are not married but are still not enrolled in school, are hawking on the street and are victims of sexual abuse and exploits. There girls who on their own reject school even if their parents insist. Iam sure some of us from the north have a relative or have heard of girls who refuse school and insist on marriage.

So also there are teenage wives and mothers enrolled in secondary schools, polytechniques and universities. In some cases it is the husbands that coerce and sponsor them to the schools as is the case with our sister Aishatu Kwajaffa who said “I am a woman and i am not against early marriage. I am proud to say dat, I went to A levels under my husband’s roof, became a professional with two children and nw working. so what’s wrong in marryn early? I never tot of any boy friend cs my social life was intact, all my attention was in academics ,I need not to think of broke or my boy friend may not give me money untill I give smetn in return. nothing like struggln to get men’s attention etc. think and pray to God to give ur children gud husband’s at early age, if not fr anything but for them to multiply early and enjoy their children at gud age”

So lets stop creating a monster out of early marriage and seek for where our problems lie

Dialog NG

Articles on Early Marriage:

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3 thoughts on “EARLY MARRIAGE: (MUSLIMS) WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE

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